3 Steps to Boosting Your Confidence by Changing Your Self-Talk

Imagine this scenario:

Work doesn’t feel satisfying. You don’t feel like you’ve been getting enough responsibility at work. You’d like to prove you’re capable of more, perhaps get a promotion. But you don’t say anything. You hope your boss will magically understand and be the first to bring it up.

Or try this:

You’ve been interested in a certain someone for a long time. So far, you’ve been content to watch from afar. You find yourself wistfully thinking about how nice it would be if they noticed you if they said hello. You wait silently, not far away, and wonder if you’ll ever catch their eye.

If either of these scenarios sounds familiar, you might need a substantial boost in your self-confidence. Confidence takes us from the world of wishful thinking into action. Confidence starts a conversation. Confidence gives you the impetus to stand up and say what’s on your mind.

The problem with self-confidence is it tends to stem from your self-talk. What you tell yourself dictates how you feel about yourself. If you constantly put yourself down, you will struggle with feeling confident enough to approach a difficult situation. After all, if you don’t like yourself, how can you expect the world to?

You can change these scenarios. You start with changing your self-talk in three easy steps.

Start Listening

You might be surprised when you pay attention to what you’re saying. Most of us tune out the words we say most often because we’ve heard them so many times before. You might be amazed at just how negative some of those thoughts are.

Verify What’s True and What Isn’t

The question then becomes, which of these statements are true and which aren’t? What evidence do you have of this? Don’t be afraid to become an investigator. For example, are you always late? Check and find out. Our minds are very good at blowing things out of proportion.

Rephrase What’s Being Said

If you don’t like the answers you’re getting in the previous step, it’s time to rephrase what you’re saying. Replace outright lies with positive truths. Turn statements around into questions that seek out solutions.

By being mindful of your self-talk, your confidence grows exponentially. You’ll feel better about yourself and more courageous in expressing your feelings, with the expectation that someone else will want to listen to what you’re saying. After all, when you like yourself, how can anyone else resist?

–Cynthia Lee

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