It’s admirable to do your best and attempt to be the best person you can be. It only makes sense to examine your negative results in life and try to do better the next time. But it’s also easy to become too self-critical. A high level of self-criticism is detrimental to success and good mental health. Excessive self-criticism hurts your self-esteem and confidence.

Consider these signs that you might be too critical of yourself:

  1. You’re paralyzed. One sign that you’re overly critical toward yourself is a lack of action. If you’ve been stuck in the same situation for an extended period of time, you’re too hard on yourself. Otherwise, you’d be out there taking care of business and making positive changes to your life.
  2. You’re slow to forgive others. When you can’t forgive yourself, you’re unable to forgive others. When you can let go and forgive yourself, you can do the same for the other people in your life.

  3. You’re never pleased with your accomplishments. It doesn’t matter to you that you shaved 10 minutes off your best 10K time or graduated from medical school. You’re bothered by the fact that you didn’t win the race or attend Harvard medical school.
  4. You’re not assertive. You have to be comfortable with yourself to feel comfortable with asserting yourself. Assertiveness also brings the risk of rejection. Being too self-critical can increase the fear of rejection from others.

  5. You consistently say bad things to yourself. There’s little harm in a small amount of negative self-talk. But a constant barrage of self-criticism is highly damaging. Imagine telling your child that they can’t do anything right and should give up trying. It sounds crazy when viewed from that perspective.

  6. You’re a chronic underachiever. Underachieving is both a symptom and a cause of self-criticism. Consistent underachieving is a call to action!

  7. Others feel comfortable being critical of you. The average person isn’t comfortable criticizing others. However, after they’ve heard you criticize yourself repeatedly, they’re likely to feel they can join in on the criticism.

  8. You criticize yourself in general terms, rather than just for specific events. There’s a difference between telling yourself that you’re not a good tennis player and telling yourself that you’re not good at anything. The general criticism is false and highly damaging.
  • A lack of success at a particular activity doesn’t make you flawed at everything. It’s illogical.

9. You keep your opinions to yourself. While you have every reason to avoid telling your neighbor she looks fat in her dress, you should feel comfortable sharing the title of your favorite book. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your opinions freely, you’re too concerned about being judged by others or saying the wrong thing.

10. You spend too much time dwelling on your mistakes. Can you move on quickly after a short period of self-reflection or do you dwell on your mistakes for an extended period of time?


11. You find yourself unable to ask for help. It shouldn’t be difficult to ask for help. In fact, the more help the better! Are you afraid of being viewed as incapable? If so, you’re too critical of yourself.

12. You can’t give yourself a single compliment. Everyone is good at something. Or maybe you know you’re good at a few things but don’t think you deserve a compliment. Either way, you’re being too hard on yourself.

You’re sabotaging yourself by being overly self-critical. You limit both your success and your mood. Realize how much you harm yourself with self-criticism. Learn from your mistakes and apply the information with enthusiasm.

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Listen to Unlocking Your Natural Confident Mindset as each week Cynthia delivers more tips for how you can improve your confidence.

Episode #035: Diffusing Conflict Effectively Unlocking Your Natural Confident Mindset

Episode #035: Diffusing Conflict Effectively Conflict – even the word can make your stomach tighten into knots. If there’s conflict around you, whether it directly involves you or not, you may not be able to do your best work. If the conflict is on a personal level, it can affect your home life as well as what happens on the job. Effective conflict resolution is a skill that everyone can benefit from learning. Most conflict occurs because someone doesn’t respond to another’s actions in an expected manner. There may be differences of opinion, or a need is not being met. Despite attempts to avoid a conflict, it may not always be possible. When conflict occurs, in this podcast I will some with you some proven techniques you can use.  This episode is also available as a blog post: https://capriciouslee.com/2021/07/27/diffusing-conflict-effectively/ — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/cynthia-lee85/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/cynthia-lee85/support
  1. Episode #035: Diffusing Conflict Effectively
  2. Episode #34: Who is Cynthia Lee
  3. Episode #033:Side-Stepping a Midlife Crisis
  4. Episode #032: Daddy Issues and Daddy's Girl
  5. Episode #31: A Foolproof Formula For Doubling Your Confidence

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Cynthia Lee

Professional Blogger, Author, Wellness Mentor, Motivational Speaker, Army Veteran, Mother, Daughter, and Sister.

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